Regardless of Intent: It is not always what you say,instead it is how you say it that matters

Article 3 Volume 5

Public Speaking Requires Continuous Practice

I have been practicing public speaking for over 50 years and I still need to keep on practicing.

In high school, I was considered by teachers and classmates to be one of the best orators in the region.  I had a gift for creating phrases on the spot and making attention capturing oral presentations.  

While still a student in high school, this gift encouraged me to write a weekly column for two local newspapers plus more articles during the week.

In writing, you have time to change your expressions.  In speaking, that is not always the case.

But let me come back to me later.  I'm going to share an incident involving an innocent little eight- year- old country bred and raised girl, named Rehola.  One day she was outside playing with 6 other children.  They were  having a good time playing together.

Out of the blue, she asked one of the boys if he was gay.  after she asked, all the kids ran in the house and left her alone. They told the parents inside what Rehola had said.  Everyone was astonished that she would ask such a question.

So, Rehola's father and two other parents went outside to question her. She was still sitting at the table with the games and toys wondering what all the commotion was about.

Her father asked her if she had asked Bardolis if he was gay.  She replied, "Everybody appeared to be having a good time so I asked him if he was HAPPY?"

One of the children who had witnessed the event, said, "No, you asked him if he was gay?"

Rehola answered, "Well, yes, GAY and HAPPY mean the same thing. That's what we learned in school."

She was completely unaware of any other meaning or thought for the word.

The parents looked at each other, kept their mouths shut and went on back in the house.

The children resumed playing and Rehola was in the midst.  They all appeared to be gay.

But if you in the city, you better say, HAPPY!

Everybody present, learned something that day.  

Meanwhile, back to me.

I was invited to speak to a Bible Study group that included about 70 percent women. The topic was about Rahab.  I pointed out that she was good at her trade as well as showing love for her family.

The favor she did for the two spies (Exodus Chapter 2) led to the liberation of her family.  She negotiated to get this assurance from the two spies.

Well, I had some time left on the clock, so I told the story of Tamar, who was Judah's daughter-in-law.  She was a smart person.  She was able to get something from Judah that was more important than money.  In fact it saved her life ( Read Genesis).

So, when I considered the action of several women in the Bible, I stated that women are not dumb.

The class suddenly got quiet. Then almost in unison, they said that of course, women are not dumb.

Well, I mused, I said the right thing, but I said it the wrong way.

If I would have said that women are smart ( opposite of dumb) the reception would have been different.

See, it is not always what you say, instead it is how you say it.

The good news is they all understood my point. 

Well, that's part of practicing public speaking, and after all these years, I'll just keep on practicing. 

      Copyright 2015. Grady E. Bryant, Sr.

Disclaimer: The news and views expressed on the site are strictly those of Grady Bryant,obtained from information made available to the general public through bulletins, public events, announcements and services that were open to the general public. This website is not officially endorsed by Warner Baptist Church.